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15 in 5

June 20, 2013

Because I love a list. Especially a random list.


1. I just saw where pipe cleaners are now called fuzzy sticks. Let’s be honest here. Might “fuzzy stick” sound a little more inappropriate than “pipe cleaner”?
2. Speaking of inappropriate, can you girls get your jean shorts any shorter? I don’t mean to sound prudish, but if I wanted to see what was in your pockets, I’d ask you to empty them.
3. As much as I love visiting Chicago, I can’t imagine having two toddlers there. It’s great on a nice day, but the thought of having to trod through the snow with two whiners is enough to put Mama over the edge.
4. As much as I appreciate the small town in which I live, I do wish The Kids could get up there more. The resources are plentiful.
5. There’s a zoo, the Lincoln Park Zoo, that’s free. It’s as equipped as the zoo in Columbia. There’s a fountain down at Millennium Park, filled with kids and parents. It’s free. The museums aren’t expensive. The people-watching is priceless.
6. In a nice-ish restaurant in Chicago, a woman sat, trying to ignore the tantrum her under 2 year old was having. I’m glad she was standing her ground, trying to teach a lesson about that sort of behavior, but enough was enough. The nasty stares were warranted. Remove the child.
7. I only say the restaurant was nice-ish, because I wore nice shorts to lunch. If I’m paying $17 for a burger, and if that burger is my favorite burger in all of Chicago, I don’t want to hear your kid. At all.
8. I remember the few times we had a screaming baby in public. One time, we were sitting outside at Mellow Mushroom downtown. Even though we were outside, it made me sweat more than a hooker in church. My first instinct was to bolt. Get the heck out.
9. Dad and I had a great weekend. I was ready to be home but so thankful to have the time with him. Our well-planned weekend couldn’t have been any better.
10. For all dads out there, pay attention. Protect your daughter, but give her space, too. If she knows she has it, but also understands how not to abuse it, you’ll be friends someday. I didn’t have a curfew in high school.
11. I was a bit of a nerd.
12. When Dad told me that he wasn’t giving me a curfew, he also gave me this warning: “I know you won’t abuse it or disappoint me.” It worked. He traveled quite a bit during the week when I lived with him, leaving me home alone at age 17. Before you call DFACS, calm down. Our security system was monitored, and I had other places to go. I chose to live with my dad.
13. I could’ve had parties, but I didn’t. He did catch us post night-out once. It was in college, during our white zinfandel days. He found the leftover bottle of Sutter Home in the cabinet. We were 19 (it was virgin white zin?). He only had one issue. Who the heck drinks white zin from a big bottle? My answer? Liz. (certainly not Mandi, Laura, or me!) She still has to deal with the consequences.
14. As much as I love my kids, I’d go back to college in a heartbeat. I’d only do it if life would end up looking exactly the way it does now, but maybe we’d have even more fun. Maybe we’d have more white zin. Or peach Boone’s Farm. Or maybe not.
15. Whatever you choose, whether it’s tea, Coke, water, or a magnum of Veuve (yes, please), celebrate often. Life is good, y’all. Cheers!

originally published in the Metro Spirit – Augusta, GA

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