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It isn’t always so pink and blue

August 30, 2012

The Man and I took The Kids to the Green Jackets game the other night. Whenever we go, we go up to the announcer’s booth and see my friend Scott (who said I could write about him). He and I worked together at my first job out of college, and we still keep in touch via Facebook and whenever we go to games. He lets me bring the kids up to see him, and The Boy gets to say “Now batting, for Augusta, number suchandsuch, player whoever!” Pretty exciting for a kid.

This past Saturday, Scott actually spotted me first. I was down on the field, photographing a friend’s daughter who was singing the national anthem, when an employee came up and asked, “Are you Jenny?” It turns out Scott had seen me from his booth above. I promised that The Kids and I would visit him in a bit.

In the middle of the sixth inning, I grabbed them and followed them up there. As soon as we arrived, Scott high-fived each kid, and said how glad he was to see them. He also said, “Getting ready for a new little brother or sister, right?”

Huh? I hope I didn’t seem like a jerk. “Me? Not me? Do you mean me?” He looked confused, and started stumbling and mumbling, “um…err…yeah…didn’t I read that? Did I hear that somewhere?”

Poor guy. I think he really remembered seeing it on Facebook or something. I laughed, and said “Do you know something I don’t?”

I know he felt terrible about it. There’s a part of me that secretly hoped that I didn’t look like I was with child. I was wearing jeans and a flowy shirt, so I guess one’s imagination could pretend there was a belly under there.  I realize that flowy shirts might be part of the problem. So many women’s shirts can be worn well into a pregnancy. My friend Liz (who doesn’t at all look pregnant) was in the lunch line of her work cafeteria once, when the cashier said something about a “baby in there,” and made a motion towards Liz’s mid region. You can understand why she only ate half of her salad.

I forgive my friend Scott. It was an honest mistake.  I think it’s a good time to remind everyone of the standard rule for determining whether a woman is pregnant or not.

The only time you can be sure is if you actually see the baby coming out of her. Seriously. It doesn’t matter if you’d like to imagine that to mean C-section style or the other way.  I don’t care how big her belly seems. Even if she is wearing a shirt with an arrow pointing downward with the letters B-A-B-Y on it, you just never know.

We had a teacher in high school whose anatomy was such that her stomach was the only place she gained weight. Bless her heart. That woman was asked about her due date dozens of time each year.

I’ve had countless friends who will be carrying the immediate post-baby weight around their middle AND a baby, and people will ask when the baby’s due. One was even told, “Gosh, you’ll have your hands full with that newborn and the one in your tummy!” Now that’s just stupid.

Once, when The Girl was about eighteen months old, I was in the best shape of my life. I’d just started playing tennis again, and I felt great. Children had changed my body, but I’d bounced back pretty well. I was wearing a tennis skirt, which isn’t very forgiving, and a fitted long sleeved athletic shirt.

As I walked up to the window, the receptionist, May (name changed to protect the outspoken), said “I didn’t know you was expectin’!”

My response? “Well, May, I didn’t either!” Of course she was mortified, but I didn’t have any bodily clues that would lead her to that conclusion. Again, I laughed, but it wasn’t really funny. I went to tennis practice, and told the story, mostly so my teammates could reassure me that she was completely off-base.

No one’s perfect. Everyone speaks out of turn or says the wrong thing. I’ve eaten more than my fair share of feet. This out can be avoided, though. If you don’t see that head comin’ out, she’s not pregnant. It’s that simple.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Scott permalink
    August 30, 2012 3:10 pm

    I still love ya Jen. I honestly thought i had read it on facebook that you were having another child. I certainly could not tell from the GreenJackets Press Box, or by seeing you up close in the booth. I hadn’t even seen you yet when i asked “The Boy and The Girl” that question. I will NEVER ask that question again…ever. Big lesson learned!

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