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15 in 5

June 21, 2012

Because I love a list.  Especially a random list.

  1. This is the first time I’ve written my column from 30 thousand feet.  The view is pretty spectacular. 
  2. Sure, the fussy baby is annoying, but I really feel for the parents. When it’s your own, the screaming seems eleventy billion times louder, and everyone gives you the death stare.
  3. To all non-parents: Sometimes there really isn’t anything you can do to stop your kid from crying. We know it sucks, and trust me, Mama and Daddy are suffering, too.
  4. The resort we just left is an adults-only place. You have to be 18 to go there. Not a bad idea at all.  It was awfully peaceful.
  5. Every time I tell someone that it was adults-only, they assume that it was a nudist resort.  I kept my clothes on the whole time. I’m glad that the other guests did too. I’m sure nudist resorts aren’t only filled with buff, perfect male and female specimens, right?
  6. Nobody looks attractive walking in the thick soft sand. Nope, not even you.
  7. When the bartender offers you a shot called Poop in the Grass, you may be skeptical, but it’s delicious.
  8. I can’t wait to see how the mention of that shot affects my search terms on the internet.
  9. Search terms used to find my blog this month are: ennyiswright(sic), sucky sandwich, church no underware(sic), hairy body lady, and grandma no panties.
  10. In case anyone cares, I’m pretty sure my finger is still broken. I’m no doctor, but I think that crookedness and the purple hue are strong indicators.  Playing the “Lazy Game” in Mexico probably didn’t help much. It involved a towel, volleyball net, and big water balloons. After tossing the balloons over the net a few times, I decided that the game wasn’t all that lazy after all.  They’re smart with the name, though. It strongly encouraged 8 tired adults to get up and actually do something. Unfortunately, it was more work than we anticipated. Nothing a post-game margarita couldn’t fix.
  11. The place also had a lazy river.  I don’t know about you, but any lazy rivers I’ve been in have had a current, allowing the swimmers to simply float on a raft and be carried along.  Not this one.  It really was lazy.  It didn’t do a thing.
  12. After all of the warnings about bleach, Pepto, and sturdy shoes, we didn’t need any of it. Our resort was clean and had its own water system.
  13. I over-packed by about 25 pounds. I was actually only 4 pounds over the 50 pound limit when I arrived at the Augusta Regional Airport.  The gate agent asked if there was anything I could remove from my bag, I assured him that I needed every single thing in there.   Besides, I’d already taken out a good sized stack of the things I knew I wouldn’t need.  He smiled, stuck a tag marked “HEAVY” on my suitcase and sent me on my way.  I love small airports.
  14. I didn’t use any more than a third of the things I brought with me.  I knew I wouldn’t; I never do.  I just feel better packing it all.  I don’t know why I ever thought I’d need 10 bathing suits or 8 dresses.  I also packed workout clothes.  They coulda easily been left at home.
  15. After being waited on so generously for nearly a week, I’m not sure how I’ll manage on my own.  I haven’t had to make a bed, take out the trash, do the dishes, bathe a child, cook dinner, or even pour my own drink.  I’m sure I’ll survive, but is it ok if I just ease into it?  I’m happy to share the Poop in the Grass recipe. Who’s pourin’?
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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Renee Clark permalink
    June 21, 2012 10:10 am

    I’m glad you girls had a great time! I would love to have the Poop in the Grass recipe!!

  2. Elizabeth Norris permalink
    June 22, 2012 9:08 pm

    I brought work out clothes too! It’s the thought that counts. Had the best time with you. When are we taking the fams to their non adult only resorts!?

  3. alice hagler permalink
    July 3, 2012 11:30 am

    I just laugh out loud when i am reading your column and your lists! Several times!

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