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If the Suit Fits…

May 31, 2012


I hate bathing suit shopping.

I’m sure there aren’t many women out there who actually enjoy it. If you do, please share your positivity and optimism. Bathing suit models might get some satisfaction, but then again maybe they simply look at it as work. I can’t imagine if my job was shopping for and fitting into the perfect suit. Getting a paycheck to do it? Might not be so bad.

Once you get past, say, 10 years of age, shopping for summer activities becomes a yearly burden.

As a girl in middle school, you worry that you’re a little too endowed, or in my case not at all endowed. While I had friends who were, well, ample busted, I was mosquito-bite city. I’d try everything to look bigger, to no avail. I hated my chicken legs, too. They made my feet look like skis. Or maybe I did have really big feet. Whatever.

From there, you learn to mostly embrace (or deal with) your body. I mean, no one is 100 percent happy all of the time, but you sort of get used to it. Bathing suit shopping isn’t pure pleasure or anything, but I didn’t meet it with the sense of dread that I do today.

What happens next either depends on whether you turn 30, have some kids, or both. Obviously, there are a lot of other factors, but for me, those were the only ones that matter. Everything has shifted a little out and a little down, and it’s not nearly as pretty as it was before my sweet little cherubs invaded and effectively changed my shape forever.

Fast forward to now. As in, today. Well, okay, back up a little. I’m going on a trip in a few weeks. You know the one. Bathing suits are required. While I’ve felt great about exercising and eating well, I still wasn’t excited about going under the fluorescent spotlights in the dressing room and facing the fat mirror.

Note to retailers out there: your dressing rooms blow. Big time.

So last week, I went shopping. I picked up a few bathing suits on the way out to the lake, thinking I’d just try them on there. Surely one would work. All of them were completely different.

The Man tends to provide an honest, but encouraging opinion, so I did a fashion show. I hated all three selections, but he convinced me that one truly did look good on me. There were two that we both agreed were horrible. They made me feel like a heifer dressed up like a beluga who eats bacon and drinks butter in her spare time. Not good. I trust The Man, so I kept the one that he liked. I like it too.

One suit isn’t enough for five days at the beach (Mexico!), which brings us to today.

I went back to the store, my returns in tow, and browsed the bathing suit section for what seemed like hours. There are so many options.

While we’re talking about options, can I ask y’all something? What’s up with the trend of wearing a top and a bottom that don’t match? Trust me, you all look great, but why can’t we match? Do you really pull out two random pieces and throw them on, or is there a strategic process to find two that don’t go together but that look good together? I liken it to putting your hair up in that just-rolled-out-of-bed-bun-on-top-of-your-head-but-falling-off-of-your-head look that actually took 15 minutes to construct.

Back to today’s shopping.

I did eventually settle on one that I love. Yep. I love it. I feel good in it. It’d be good if I had a little sun in the form of a spray tan, but that will come.

The funny thing is, it’s not all that big of a deal. Most people don’t even notice the things we hate about ourselves, and if they do, I’ve got a list of hobbies they can try. I’ll always remember when I was complaining one day, and my good friend Brad (Bubba!) said, “But you don’t have cellulite?!?” He seemed truly baffled. Whether he deserves an Academy Award for his acting or a gold star for friendship, I’m not sure, but he convinced me. The worries are mostly mine. I’ll wear the damn suit. And both pieces will match.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Mandi permalink
    May 31, 2012 1:51 pm

    Good one Jenny! You are going to love that I have one mismatched suit. However, it was not purchased that way. Really what happened was I ordered the suit and the bottoms did not fit and I had to returm them. Since this was the only bikini I owed at the moment I paired the solid blue top with a pair of black bottoms and thus found that I actually kinda liked it that way so I decided not to reorder the blue bottoms. Once you see it, you’ll have to let me know if I made a mistake 🙂 The rest of my suits match though. 2 weeks!

  2. Tami permalink
    June 9, 2012 4:16 pm

    Last year was the first time I enjoyed bathing suit shopping – after losing approx. 75 lbs it felt great to not want to leave the dressing room in tears. 🙂 Glad you found one you loved!

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