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15 in 5

May 17, 2012

Because I love a list.  Especially a random list.

  1. I always get stuck sitting in front of the popcorn chewer and seat kicker at the movies.  Every time.
  2. What’s up with these people who talk throughout a movie?  You pay all this money, and then you don’t even watch.  I didn’t spend my (husband’s) hard earned cash to hear you and your husband talk about the neighborhood gossip.  I do want to hear about it though.  Meet me later?
  3. The Girl was so confused as to why we couldn’t talk about the candy I had in my purse.  Here’s the deal, kiddo.  You can get that same candy at the drug store for 1/20th of the price.  It’s not really lying.  I like to think that I’m teaching resourcefulness and financial creativity.
  4. I’m (hopefully) halfway through the broken finger recovery process.  You’d assume that I’m most looking forward to showering with two hands or typing with all ten fingers.  Nope.  I can’t wait until I no longer point at everyone all the time.
  5. I actually was slightly lectured about the fact that my finger break was my own fault.   It was a freak accident.  If she tried with all her might, there’s no way she’d be able to aim a ball at and hit the tip of my finger again.
  6. Tennis is a pretty friendly sport, but I’ve broken a tooth and a finger while playing.  Never mind that I bent over and hit a chair while picking up a ball, which is how the tooth shattered.  The chair was on a tennis court, so it counts.
  7. I miss playing tennis.  Before my finger was broken, I played at least four times per week.  Because I’m going to Mexico in June, I needed a backup workout plan.  I sort of started running.  Anyone who knows me well knows that this is a major stretch.  I can go about two miles, which is two miles farther than I could go BBF (Before Broken Finger).
  8. Don’t tell anyone, but I kind of enjoy running.
  9. I truly believe that might be possible solely because I have cute shoes.  Solely.  Ha.
  10. Speaking of shoes, what do y’all think about little girls wearing high heels? At what age do you think it’s appropriate?  The jury’s still out on this one, but I have assured The Girl that six is way too young.
  11. Speaking of young, should eight year old girls be calling eight year old boys?  Is it prudish to wonder? The Boy got a call from his “girlfriend” the other day.  They talked for 45 minutes.  Maybe it’s not a big deal, but maybe I’m not ready for all that.
  12. Search terms to find my column online:  “jennyiswright smashed potatoes smashed potatoes,” “grandmothers who go commando,” and the always popular, “cleaning car no panties.”  I can’t imagine how disappointed these pervs must be when they happen upon my column, rather than nekkid grandmas with smashed potatoes smashed potatoes.
  13. It’s finally the end of the school year.  I don’t know about y’all, but I’m a big fan of summer time.  We get to sleep in, have lunch in our pajamas, and after school activities come to a screeching halt.  They’ll both do swim team, and Vacation Bible School, but otherwise, we’re going to the pool. I may go to work a little.
  14. It’s almost impossible for me to believe that I nearly have first and third grade children.  It’s cliché, but each phase really is better than the last.  They’re little people now, and it’s more fun than I ever thought possible.
  15. Congrats to all of the high school grads out there.  It’s such an exciting time.  Let your Mama cry when you leave.  She’s not trying to embarrass you – she just can’t imagine her home without you.  Let your Daddy give you advice.  Mine still does. Don’t be ashamed to pay a bill with change found deep in the couch cushions.  It happens.  Finally, enjoy college.  Getting good grades and earning a degree are obviously the main goals.  Just know this:  you will never, ever again experience such a small amount of responsibility.   Once you’re done, it’s real-world time, and there’s no turning back.  Cheers!  (with Sprite, until you’re 21.)
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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Colleen permalink
    May 17, 2012 10:16 pm

    As usual, dead-on, clever and funny!

  2. Holli Bradberry permalink
    May 18, 2012 4:17 pm

    That last one made me cry a lil’ bit.

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