15 in 5
May 17, 2012
Because I love a list. Especially a random list.
- I always get stuck sitting in front of the popcorn chewer and seat kicker at the movies. Every time.
- What’s up with these people who talk throughout a movie? You pay all this money, and then you don’t even watch. I didn’t spend my (husband’s) hard earned cash to hear you and your husband talk about the neighborhood gossip. I do want to hear about it though. Meet me later?
- The Girl was so confused as to why we couldn’t talk about the candy I had in my purse. Here’s the deal, kiddo. You can get that same candy at the drug store for 1/20th of the price. It’s not really lying. I like to think that I’m teaching resourcefulness and financial creativity.
- I’m (hopefully) halfway through the broken finger recovery process. You’d assume that I’m most looking forward to showering with two hands or typing with all ten fingers. Nope. I can’t wait until I no longer point at everyone all the time.
- I actually was slightly lectured about the fact that my finger break was my own fault. It was a freak accident. If she tried with all her might, there’s no way she’d be able to aim a ball at and hit the tip of my finger again.
- Tennis is a pretty friendly sport, but I’ve broken a tooth and a finger while playing. Never mind that I bent over and hit a chair while picking up a ball, which is how the tooth shattered. The chair was on a tennis court, so it counts.
- I miss playing tennis. Before my finger was broken, I played at least four times per week. Because I’m going to Mexico in June, I needed a backup workout plan. I sort of started running. Anyone who knows me well knows that this is a major stretch. I can go about two miles, which is two miles farther than I could go BBF (Before Broken Finger).
- Don’t tell anyone, but I kind of enjoy running.
- I truly believe that might be possible solely because I have cute shoes. Solely. Ha.
- Speaking of shoes, what do y’all think about little girls wearing high heels? At what age do you think it’s appropriate? The jury’s still out on this one, but I have assured The Girl that six is way too young.
- Speaking of young, should eight year old girls be calling eight year old boys? Is it prudish to wonder? The Boy got a call from his “girlfriend” the other day. They talked for 45 minutes. Maybe it’s not a big deal, but maybe I’m not ready for all that.
- Search terms to find my column online: “jennyiswright smashed potatoes smashed potatoes,” “grandmothers who go commando,” and the always popular, “cleaning car no panties.” I can’t imagine how disappointed these pervs must be when they happen upon my column, rather than nekkid grandmas with smashed potatoes smashed potatoes.
- It’s finally the end of the school year. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m a big fan of summer time. We get to sleep in, have lunch in our pajamas, and after school activities come to a screeching halt. They’ll both do swim team, and Vacation Bible School, but otherwise, we’re going to the pool. I may go to work a little.
- It’s almost impossible for me to believe that I nearly have first and third grade children. It’s cliché, but each phase really is better than the last. They’re little people now, and it’s more fun than I ever thought possible.
- Congrats to all of the high school grads out there. It’s such an exciting time. Let your Mama cry when you leave. She’s not trying to embarrass you – she just can’t imagine her home without you. Let your Daddy give you advice. Mine still does. Don’t be ashamed to pay a bill with change found deep in the couch cushions. It happens. Finally, enjoy college. Getting good grades and earning a degree are obviously the main goals. Just know this: you will never, ever again experience such a small amount of responsibility. Once you’re done, it’s real-world time, and there’s no turning back. Cheers! (with Sprite, until you’re 21.)
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As usual, dead-on, clever and funny!
That last one made me cry a lil’ bit.