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15 in 5 : Parental Style

December 14, 2011

  1. Being a parent is nothing like I thought it’d be.  It’s way more exhausting.
  2. If you tell your kid they can’t have dessert, it’s perfectly acceptable and fun to eat a fat piece of cake while they watch.
  3. Usually when I say “We’ll see,” it really means “Absolutely not, but I don’t want to hear you whine about it right now.”
  4. Mom Minutes are completely different than actual minutes and can take as long as I need them to take.
  5. Even if I cook an entire meal made up of all things The Kids love, someone will complain.  Maybe they both will.  I’m pretty sure that if I served chocolate everything, one of them would moan about it.  “It’s soooo sweet, Mama.”
  6. Why do kids use so much paper?  I don’t just mean toilet paper.  The amount of paper they bring home from school is ridiculous.  Not to mention the little pieces of “art” they leave everywhere.  As soon as The Kids leave for school, I start throwing stuff away.  Most of the time, they don’t notice.  Every once in a while, one of them will come home asking what happened to the piece of paper with one line on it that was so important.  Oh THAT?  Daddy must’ve thrown it away.
  7. I feel for them when they’re sick.  I really do.  They’re snuggly when they have a fever.  I like a random day home from school with them.  When they barf, all those feelings seem to disappear.
  8. Telling little white lies is just a basic part of parenting.  We do it to make our lives easier.  By saying that those huge plastic car-shaped shopping carts belong to someone else, you’ll avoid knocking over the cardboard displays throughout the store.  Trust me.  Those things are impossible to steer.
  9. At least once, I’ve heard myself say “because I said so,” “If he jumped off a bridge, would you?” and “Do I have to pull this car over?”  I cringe each time, but there’s a reason those sayings have been around for so long.  They work like a charm.
  10. Both of my kids have used the f word.  The boy used it appropriately, letting me know that he didn’t want to put on his bleeping shoes.  He was three.  The Girl informed all of her friends on the playground that she knew a bad word, and she shared it with them.  I’d like to tell you that I was furious, but cussing isn’t the biggest deal to me.  Considering all of the terrible things that kids and teens can and will do, swearing just isn’t a hill worth dying on.  My only request is that they don’t talk like a sailor at school, church, or in front of their grandmother.
  11. I can see now why my parents liked to drink wine.  Homework and sibling rivalry will make even the most patient person lose their mind.  Hats off to you teetotaling parents out there.
  12. Although The Boy despises homework, The Girl absolutely loves it.  She even creates her own, spelling words phonetically and leaving little notes around the house.   Our favorite so far?  Ckwusjin morc.
  13. It’s amazing that two children can come from the same parents and be so different.  It’s truly impossible to pick a favorite.  Especially when they’re fighting.
  14. If anyone has a way to explain how much you love your kids, I’d love to know what it is.  I have yet to come up with an eloquent and accurate way to describe how great they are.
  15. Being a parent is the hardest job there is.  Anyone who says it’s not is hiding under their Super Mom cape.  We all question everything every day, and that’s ok.  We do our best, and that’s all we have.  Well, that and Xanax.
3 Comments leave one →
  1. Renee Clark permalink
    December 14, 2011 4:43 pm

    I love, love, love # 8! I too despise those carts. And people look at you like you’re crazy because you can’t turn a simple corner in the store.

  2. Liz permalink
    December 15, 2011 1:07 am

    I totally agree with #6. I live in a tree hugging area where we have to get permission from a town arborist before we cut a tree down in our yard, but apparently it’s okay to send my kid home from school with a ream of paper. And, I on more than one occasion have blamed it on dad when a paper goes missing.

    Love this list!!

  3. Gill Hayes permalink
    December 16, 2011 8:57 pm

    OMG, I totally needed to read this right now! With a one month old at home, I was beginning to think I was going crazy and was convinced I was a total failure at everything. Kelly Rippa said today that she tries to only fail a little bit as a mom each day, and then you had this awesome list. I guess the universe is trying to tell me its all going to be okay 🙂

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