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Is it Hot?

September 14, 2011

Everyone has pet peeves, right? These aren’t just things that just bother you. These are things you simply can’t tolerate. After a lifetime of whistling and loving whistlers, I learned recently that there are people out there who hate to hear it at all. I grew up playing wind instruments (proud band nerd!), which I think fostered my whistling habit. My father in law is an avid whistler. The Man pretty much whistles constantly and The Boy and The Girl follow suit. From what I’ve gathered, those who hate the sound even despise the word. The only kind of whistling that bothers me is unintentional nasal whistling. Trim those nose hairs, please.

I really can’t blame the haters of bird-like song. While I find joy in the sound of a perfectly whistled tune, I certainly have my things. The Man would probably say that I have hundreds of things. Maybe he’s right, but I can narrow it down for the sake of limited space.

The thing that drives me the absolute craziest is when people chew with their mouth open. The sound of crunching food makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. The Kids love to eat dry cereal and I practically have to leave the room when I give it to them.

I’m not sure when this became more than a little thing. I do remember when The Man and I were first married and I noticed that he did it. Once I even (politely, this time) asked him if he could please stop smacking his lips while he was eating.

“Hey Babe? Can you please try not to make so much noise when you eat?”

“It’s hot,” he replied, innocently.

To give him credit, it was hot. We’d just opened a steaming pizza box.

The next time I really noticed it (or felt like pointing it out), we were eating popcorn. “Is it hot?” I asked. That’s become my standard question when I really mean “OH MY GOSH PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF PETE QUIT CRUNCHING.” Bless his heart.

I guess it’s a manners thing with me. It’s not hard to chew with your mouth closed, especially once you’re past the initial bite-down. I mean, there’s no way someone can put an entire tortilla chip in their mouth in one bite, without making a sound. Okay, so if you’re one of those people who can fit your entire fist in your mouth, I suppose you can. For everyone else, there’s the Break it in Half rule. Break it in half before you eat it.

The Boy takes after his daddy, The Girl her mama. You know what that means. Before The Boy even thinks about taking a bite of food, she is complaining about it. “Mama, he is about to crunch those chips.” Whoops.

What bothers you? When someone fails to use their blinker? When someone misunderstands your intentions? When someone asks a question and doesn’t listen for the response? When someone complains about their food at a restaurant? What? None of these bother me. I was just asking.

Things like this don’t affect me (laid back), and I’d certainly never commit a single one (innocent). If there should be an audible crunch coming from my direction, just know this: it’s hot.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. incognita permalink
    September 20, 2011 11:43 am

    Definitely food noises … slurping, crunching, sloshing, gum chewing & snapping, smacking. Also kissing sounds from other people …. from lovey dovey couples or even those sweet enthusiastic strings of kisses given to a baby … I recognize the sweetness of the gesture but the sound drives me apeshit crazy. Also can’t stand pen clickers, leg jigglers, any kind of repetitive sound or action over which I have no control. Gaaaa!

  2. September 20, 2011 12:28 pm

    Oh, and how could I forget the interminable scuff scuff scuff of foot draggers? Pick up your feet already! It’s not that hard! Show some enthusiasm people! What, are you that world weary that you can’t lift your feet? It’s a horrible sound … and the world is loud enough. Please stop!

    Oh yeah, and the dragging of chairs across the floor in cafes/ restaurants. Pick up the chair!

    So you see, there are many many triggers for me 🙂

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